Lonely place to be

Lonely place to be

It is the loneliest place to be,
in the middle of everything but in
nobody's heart.
It is a lonely way to fall asleep,
curled up to a ball in a bed meant for two.
One set of cutleries, one glass of wine warming up in a light of a candle.
The flame being polite and kindly hiding the tears on the cheek of that little girl,who silently sipping her wine looks to the darkness outside.
She pushes away the empty wine glass,
covers herself in a jacket and steps outside to the arms of the night.
She looks above ...admires the sky full of bright stars, she feels small and humble, yet not lonely...just tiny...
She feels she is part of a universe, just not
part of the society...

She is like a random actress in other people's movies, where she only has few lines to perform and then her time is out,
she will be left out in the curtains...
Show must go on, but it is not her show,
she is not invited.
It is a lonely place to be, muted and un-noticed on the shadows of the curtains.


Ann O'Songland

Fallen leaf

Fallen leaf

Out of place,
belonging nowhere...
...drifting ,
carried by a wind from one place to yet another...
Never finding home,
never being part of anything.
Always alone,
being kicked out of the way by busy feet..
Not picked up and appreciated its rare unique looks and beauty....just swept aside like a nuisance...

Like a fallen leaf of the autumn,
coming to an end of its' time..
Never really seen,
easily forgotten..
Out of sight,out of mind..
And as the first flakes of snow effortlessly land to the frozen ground, so does the fallen leaf be buried under the soft cool white blanket - it is time for goodbyes.

Ann O'Songland

Oh, being awkward - welcome to my life, part 2.3

Oh ,  being awkward - welcome to my life, part 2.3

  I don't even know where to start, or how to start.
But being awkward is something so familiar to me, that if a day goes by without stumbling on my two left feet, that'll be the day to remember.

 It is not, that I would lack social skills, I can actually behave myself.
There is just something clumsy about me, especially when it comes to men.

First of all, flirting.
Is it something edible??
I have never grasp this skill myself, and I am not about to start it when getting close to that big five o.
Because that, ladies and gentlemen, would be painful to witness.
And I sure as hell still don't get it, if somebody tries to flirt with me.
I don't realize that somebody is actually flirting with me, even if you hit me with a brick.
Try to wink at me, and I would think that you got something in your eye.
Try to come and chat with me, casually flirting, making your best moves, and I would only be irritated.
So it is best to save those cheesy lines to somebody, who is at the same level with you, because with me your talent will be wasted for sure.

 Second...being on the queue at the supermarket...
Any man standing behind me or in front of me, no reaction there.
Well, replace that man with a firefighter and wait a second...
....and we have a winner!!!
To this date  I don't know, what is it about these everyday heroes of this particular profession, that gets me all confused.
But they certainly do that, with the maximum effect on that awkwardness.
Not only the colour of my face will be mimicing superbly their fire engines, but I manage to embarrass myself in every way possible.
My hands are shaking, I am either completely out of words or I mumble something ridiculously stupid, that I actually wish I had said nothing at all.
I drop things...my purse, my keys, my bank card...
Give anything to me, and I will drop it.

I will confess, that I have actually walked straight to the streetlamps when there has been a sighting of a firefighter.
I have almost fell of my bike because the very same reason.
I don't get it, so I suppose it remains a mystery till the end of my days.

 Oh well....at least I keep everybody well entertained.

In general,I get along with men better than with women.
But at some point I am left behind very confused and dizzy, and don't know what hit me.
It is not really a big surprise, that I am still single...

 Well, that is a whole different chapter, which actually, has nothing to do with anything mentioned above.
I ' ll get to that chapter another day, but there is still many hours of today left to go enjoying my weirdness ...

With love and laughter Ann O'Songland

Don't try to tame me- run wild with me

Don't try to tame me, run wild with me

 Run wild with me
Run through the forests,
on the shores of the secluded beaches.
Wake up with me to the first ray of sun,
enjoy the cooling breeze caressing our warm bodies.
Take a walk with me,
free of boundaries of time and space.
Laugh with me,
 and let the sound of our laughter get mixed up
with the sound of the surrounding nature.
Run wild with me!
Don't try to harness me,
don't try to capture me,
don't try to tame me.
Set me free, and enjoy the rainbows and storms
beside me.
For it is meant to be,
for me - I am meant to be free.
Would you join me,
and keep me company?
Run with me,
run with me!

The home is in me

The home is in me

 Home, to me at least, is not a physical place,
 but rather a state of mind.
It is not a building of any kind, situated to a certain place.
Home is in me, it is in my heart.
It is not restricted to boundaries of walls nor the boundaries of national borders.
I carry home with me, wherever I go.
 I make my home along the way.

Sometimes my home has been in a tiny island at the fisherman's cozy quarters,
where the fireplace has kept us both warm in the rainy misty days.
Sometimes my home has been in a very spacious,
modern  swiss chalet.
My home has also been in a cute little caravan,
 for quite some time actually.
It has also been in a farm surrounded by green fields and curious little woollies.
My home has been also one bunk bed in a hostel.

Home to me, is a state of mind.
I never consider myself homeless,
even when I don't have that one place just for myself,
 where my nametag decorates the door.

Home is in my heart, and in my head.
Home is, where I feel safe, and alive.

Those little voices inside

Those little voices inside

  I am not talking about any voices in my head, so no need to worry.
I am talking about those two very powerful voices inside me, that has guided me through all the rocky roads and storms I have come through..
The voice of my conscience and that of my intuition, the sixth sense.
They are both very loud, even when they are just whispering to me.
No need to yell anyway, because I have always paid attention, what they have said to me and listened acutely.

 The voice of my conscience..
I can rely to it at all times, I never need to worry to take the shady paths, because this voice makes sure, that I will take the moment before I act on anything.
All these years it has proven to be right, proven that I can indeed count on it whatever it is I am doing.
Even when I am just playing at my thoughts to do something naughty and questionable, it is my conscience that stops me  right to the track.

" Don't do it. Take a deep breath, and give it a moment. You will see it for yourself that it is not worth it." That is, what my conscience whispers to me.

I am so grateful to it, that it keeps me out of michieves and troubles. It saves me from whole lotta drama and regrets and remorse, because it is always one step ahead of me.

And what about the other strong and silent type? That sixth sense, my intuition?
Another little inner voice I am deeply grateful for.
It has been more than once,when it has sent me clues through my body, that something is not right now.
It talks to me using all my senses, my muscles, every cell of my body to make it sure, that I get the point.
My heart pumps faster, the palms of my hands get sweaty, all my senses are sharpened to very maximum capacity.
Then it is up to me to decide, whether I need to flight, fight or freeze...the latest has never been my choice of action.
Years have taught me to pick my battles more carefully.  No matter how careful you are, when you enter a battle, even if you win, there will be damage, there will be battle wounds that need to be healed.
That is why I pick the flight-option more often than stay to be wounded, maybe even lethally so.
So I choose to avoid conflicts, if it can be avoided.

It is also my intuition that guides me through the crossroads, when my vision is compromised and I can't see clearly where to go, what road to choose.
It is my intuition, that again finds its way to send me the clue, so I can make a sound decision based to this loyal navigator, who lives in the very core of me.

Together these two, my conscience and my intuition, keeps me on the right track in every important way, that actually count.
It is to their efficiency, and to my will to listen them, that every evening I can watch myself from the mirror without having to feel ashamed of myself.
I can fall asleep with clean conscience, and I can be at peace with myself.

When one has a special gift, it needs to be heard ❤

I wanted to share this music link with all of you.
He is a talented young Canadian man, gifted with a beautiful heart ❤.

Mikael / Chlaustrophobic
Vocals & lyrics: Mika Laulumaa

https://youtu.be/xpUL4rCkMFY