Oh, being awkward - welcome to my life, part 2.3

Oh ,  being awkward - welcome to my life, part 2.3

  I don't even know where to start, or how to start.
But being awkward is something so familiar to me, that if a day goes by without stumbling on my two left feet, that'll be the day to remember.

 It is not, that I would lack social skills, I can actually behave myself.
There is just something clumsy about me, especially when it comes to men.

First of all, flirting.
Is it something edible??
I have never grasp this skill myself, and I am not about to start it when getting close to that big five o.
Because that, ladies and gentlemen, would be painful to witness.
And I sure as hell still don't get it, if somebody tries to flirt with me.
I don't realize that somebody is actually flirting with me, even if you hit me with a brick.
Try to wink at me, and I would think that you got something in your eye.
Try to come and chat with me, casually flirting, making your best moves, and I would only be irritated.
So it is best to save those cheesy lines to somebody, who is at the same level with you, because with me your talent will be wasted for sure.

 Second...being on the queue at the supermarket...
Any man standing behind me or in front of me, no reaction there.
Well, replace that man with a firefighter and wait a second...
....and we have a winner!!!
To this date  I don't know, what is it about these everyday heroes of this particular profession, that gets me all confused.
But they certainly do that, with the maximum effect on that awkwardness.
Not only the colour of my face will be mimicing superbly their fire engines, but I manage to embarrass myself in every way possible.
My hands are shaking, I am either completely out of words or I mumble something ridiculously stupid, that I actually wish I had said nothing at all.
I drop things...my purse, my keys, my bank card...
Give anything to me, and I will drop it.

I will confess, that I have actually walked straight to the streetlamps when there has been a sighting of a firefighter.
I have almost fell of my bike because the very same reason.
I don't get it, so I suppose it remains a mystery till the end of my days.

 Oh well....at least I keep everybody well entertained.

In general,I get along with men better than with women.
But at some point I am left behind very confused and dizzy, and don't know what hit me.
It is not really a big surprise, that I am still single...

 Well, that is a whole different chapter, which actually, has nothing to do with anything mentioned above.
I ' ll get to that chapter another day, but there is still many hours of today left to go enjoying my weirdness ...

With love and laughter Ann O'Songland