If men are from Mars and women are from Venus...

If men are from Mars, and women are from Venus...

  All the physical evidence proves, that I am indeed a specimen of species " Homo sapiens ", the female version of it.
However, I question this fact quite often nowadays, no matter how hard I stare my tits or admire my otherwise curvy sexy figure.
It seems to be, that I might actually own quite admirable " cojones" , which to my relief are invisible ones.
My behaviour, more often than I care to admit, is more typical to men, than to women.
And the same behavioural patterns come to daylight,when I open my mouth.
There is a little Homer Simpson and Al Bundy, living inside me, jolly characters both of them if you ask me.
I don't find anything bad in it, if I accidently pass some gas once in a while...I don't do it on the kitchen table and I try my best to hold it,when on the very public places.
But, in the end, it is just a fart, not the end of the world.

 Now you are wondering and rolling your eyeballs, why is this weird lady opening up about her bowel movements, and why should it be anybodys concern.
You may relax, as fascinated as I am of a human(and other animals') physiology and anatomy, I promise I try to cut it short and go to business.

My subject was if men are from Mars and women are from Venus....
...where the hell I am from ?? Pluto?? ( I know,not a planet anymore).
I feel, that I may as well be an alien, who has a head size of a pumpkin and three eyeballs,which are all pointing to different directions.
I might even roar and speak the similar languages as Chewbacca does, or at least that is how it feels.
In sooo many ways I differ from majority of women, how I live and how I speak,and how I think, that I find it both very interesting, and tiring.
I can't find the energy, nor the interest, to analyze everything to atoms, no matter what the subject is.
My poor little braincells are already overloaded in this introverted mind, I have to have some mercy on them.

However, it seems to be, that women in general tend to have this habit on analyzing things to great lenghts. They do especially detailed job on analyzing, when there is a discussion on relationships, whether they are single or married.
I almost feel sorry for men...those poor things don't have a clue, what's hitting them.
One moment they are happily strolling from soccer game to pub with their pack,singing loudly and wearing those funny huge foam fingers and matching caps on their heads.
And then....out of nowhere....ka-boom...the whole pack of these merry singers, are hit by a squadteam of very well dressed,  gourgeous women..and let's be honest here, we all know, that men are very vulnerable, when it comes to sexy women.
Somewhere along the lines, these lads and gals start talking and end up spending time together having a great evening .

Then hits the reality...
While the guys are still reminiscing about the great night out, the pack of ladies are already knitting their webs and plotting against the innocent men.
There they are, analyzing every moment of night before, moment by moment, each guy goes through a microscopical scrutiny and each word and behaviour is carefully categorized and points are given.

This really does happen, a lot, you can not avoid it.
This is where I feel out of place, since I simply cannot bother go through such trouble on all this overwhelming habit on analyzing.
The other one, where I also feel a bit alien-like, are those " coffee -room chit chats" , smalltalks and gossiping.
It is lot of noice, lot of talk without actually saying anything, so in my opinion, waste of time and noise pollution.
Gossiping is the worst...whispers and odd glances, rumours which has no head or tail on them.
I don't care rats' ass who got new boobs and whose hubby has biggest....nose....or who cheated who with whom...I just don't get any pleasure on gossiping, I don't care.

 I just mind my own business, my daily chores and occasional adventures.
I don't enjoy to be a centre of attention, quite the contrary. I am all in all, happy to be nobody, I like to vanish to the background, to be the grey mouse, the invisible. I live ordinary life, but it is my life.
I can be quite a bore actually.
Days go by, that I do absolutely nothing...nothing to be mentioned anyway.
I eat, I sleep, I poop, my heart beats and I can feel my pulse, so I assume that I am alive.
Now there's an achievement itself, have a luxury to see yet another sunrise.

 I probably didn't make any sense at all, what I was just writing today, but nothing new there then, just another day at the office.

Wishing you all a lovely evening,
Ann - the alien