keskiviikko 6. joulukuuta 2017

When you don't fit in


When you don't fit in, and you don't really want to stand out either


  Now there is a dilemma.
One,that occurs in my life in regular basis.
Always the odd one out, the one piece of puzzle,that never fits anywhere.
Do I even have to? Fit in? Fit in where? And to what?
These norms, where you so easily drown in the mass, to be just one face among other similar faces..
..odourless, colourless,and tasteless...

 I quite enjoy to be nobody, to stay on the shadows, to be on the background. I don't care about the attention,the crowds,the roads taken by the majority.
Yet still, because of that, I stand out of the mass,with great reluctance.
It is true, that life would be easier,if I wouldn't be highly sensitive introverted person.
I am not fond of those "definitions", but as it is the truth,I accept it.
In a work environment, I like to keep my head low,mind my own business, and just do my work the best I can.
I don't bother the other ones, and I wish I wouldn't be bothered either. I am polite,yet distant - nothing illegal there, yet often to be frowned upon.
I don't invite people to my life very lightly,I am reserved,rightfully so.
I like my own company,the solitude,without being lonely.
And those people,who manage to find that small hole in my walls, they are "my people",whom I care deeply for and would do anything for them.
When you watch movies and tv series,usually the most horrific serial killers and other crazy people are always told to be the loners, the quiet ones on the sidelines.
I find this quite annoying stereotype,which is just as much true as any other stereotype,that is made.
I mean really, it is a ridiculous assumption, that a person,who just enjoys a quiet simple modest life, is automatically plotting against the whole world.
I could easily point out, that all those loud masses of extroverted people,who have the emotionless fake-smile glued to their faces,are even worse...
because nobody would suspect anything bad of those noisy people,who like to be surrounded by their loyal fans.
Loyal fans, who will stabb on the back,the moment you don't pay attention.

Yes,I am not a big fan of people, I don't even like people that much.However, I still want NO harm to anybody, just prefer peace and quite over meaningless chit chat.
I am the most comfortable surrounded by other species than the Homo Sapiens, because they play with the same rules as I do - simple and straight-forward.
Animals take me as I am, without hidden agendas. They also show with clear signs their intentions,if you pay attention to their body language and sounds.
I like that honesty about them, no words needed, just the presence.

Well, I carry on my life my way, finding those paths,that are not so crowded and popular, making my own paths.
Sometimes those paths are rocky, filled with obstacles,steep hills, but they are mine to be go through, and in the top of the mountain the view is spectacular, well worth the effort.

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